Why people date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since old ages. Extramarital affairs can be filled with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. In addition you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness matter, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual background, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married women for dating.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affair. I am sure generally though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can switch the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against extramarital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your family or anybody else? You would need to reduce the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, enormous really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, usually the gentleman is sexually neglecting his female for a tones of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is gone, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply grown apart, our common concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.